I have been off line.
I can explain. At the start of February Mr Bitey became a bit quieter than usual. We were so accustomed to his full-on hyperactive, life and soul of party energy that we got worried. My wife thought he might just be "growing up" although that seemed unlikely. Our lovely vet did some tests and scans. She said he had multiple large tumours and he did not have long to live. It was a shock. In January we had taken him skiing and he had run about in the snow like a puppy. He was now just tired. But happy.
I took some time off work and we had 3 lovely weeks together. He ate roast chicken every day. He took me for walks to the pub where he enjoyed sitting at the table joining in the social chatter. We went for rides in the car. He slept on the bed every night.
Then on 27 February he didn't want to eat or walk. I lay with him on the duvet and waited. His breathing seemed a bit uncomfortable so I called our vet and she came out, and gave him an injection while I lay with him. He died very peacefully while I looked into his eyes.
He had only been in my life for 3 years, since my wife found him in a dog shelter. He was a rescue dog. He rescued me.
Since he died I have been so busy. I retire in 2 months. All our retirement plans were built with him in mind. A house with the right sort of garden. A room at the back entrance where he could dry his paws. A dog friendly pub within walking distance. We had planned camping holidays. We even looked at the maps together.
I have been away from home for the last 3 weeks since Mr Bitey died. I am busy at work, preparing for that retirement I'm not sure I still want. To be honest, when I'm not working, I just feel too upset to do much else, so I haven't logged on to DA until today. I did not expect to feel like this.
I am writing this in a German cafe, where I am crying over breakfast. The cafe is in the town square where Mr Bitey and I went to the Christmas market together 3 months ago. I remember his Santa coat, and a German man was eating a bratwurst, and the sausage slipped out of the bun, straight into Mr Bitey's mouth. His tail wagged so much he actually fell over on the snow.